Today I spent most of the day making fruitcakes with my husband. He's a great guy anyway, but think about it this way... how many husbands out there would actually spend a Sunday afternoon listening to Christmas music and making fruitcakes? Not one, but both activities. Yup. I'd say he's a keeper.
Most people hate fruitcake. I happen to like it - especially if it's mine. I have the most wonderful recipe for fruitcake. Of course some might attribute this to the fact that it is half alcohol, but it actually is a very nice dessert. It's also a whole lot of work. If I hadn't have had help I don't think I could have made them this year.
Accepting help is hard for me. I've always been very self-sufficient, especially in the kitchen. It's rare that I've ever needed anyone to help me do anything in the kitchen, except of course washing dishes. I don't actually need help washing dishes, I just don't like that part.
I need help doing a lot of these things these days because I am so tired. Not just an ordinary done-too-much tired, but a deep down inside tired. I hate it. I just want to feel like I used to. I want to feel better so I don't always wonder what else is going on inside of me. I don't think it's over yet. I don't know what that means exactly but I can feel it. I had another scan a week or so ago and the radiologist said something showed up in the utlrasound. The odd thing is that the ultrasound was on my legs. The doctor wanted to check to make sure my legs were free of obstructions and this "area" showed up in the pictures. I asked the radiologist if it meant anything, and he said "well, it certainly isn't supposed to be there." That was helpful. I still don't know what it means, and I am guessing that I'll have to wait until after the holidays.
Meanwhile, I'll try to do "normal" things. I'll enjoy the fruitcake and try very hard to not to become one.
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