It was one year ago today that I had surgery to remove cancer from my body. The emotion of this day caught me by surprise, and I spent most of my off time today trying to figure out why.
This past year has been a year of uncertainty, of gratitude, of worry, of relief, of...I don't know. To me the whole thing seems like it's a big ol' Six Flags Over Texas Judge Roy Scream Roller Coaster ride.
The Judge Roy Scream was a famous old-fashioned wooden roller coaster. It was a huge thrill that shook you, rattled you, tossed you around high and low, fast and slow, until at last you rolled laughing and screaming back into the starting gate. It was really something.
That's a fairly accurate description of this past year.
But on this day, my one year anniversary of the beginning of the rest my life, there is one absolute.
Today, I am grateful.
I am grateful to God that He is allowing me to continue on the road to health.
I am grateful for you, my husband. You are my rock... my anchor. There are no words to adequately express how I feel about you and your immeasurable love and support, so I won't even try. I hope you know.
To all of my friends who have offered prayers, sent good thoughts and healing vibes - thank you. I appreciate you. You have been my strength when I have none.
and this...
has been quite a ride.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
the day the earth stood still.
One year ago today... I was told I had cancer.
It's the "best" kind of cancer to get they said. It's a very treatable type of cancer, I was told. But it was still cancer.
I have been blessed with an excellent outcome...
and it still changed my life.
Once you hear those words nothing ever really seems the same again. Every time you have an ache or pain you think its more than a simple ache or pain. You never stop asking what if? You always wonder if the next scan will reveal something new. You never stop wondering.
You never stop thinking.
I am trying though. I am working on not assuming the worst, and I am trying to celebrate each time the doctor says "so far so good." I am working on it. Really.
Mostly though, this past year I've learned that I can move forward even though I don't know how stable the future is. I can enjoy the fact that I have a future. I don't know what it holds, but for that matter, neither does anyone else.
It's the "best" kind of cancer to get they said. It's a very treatable type of cancer, I was told. But it was still cancer.
I have been blessed with an excellent outcome...
and it still changed my life.
Once you hear those words nothing ever really seems the same again. Every time you have an ache or pain you think its more than a simple ache or pain. You never stop asking what if? You always wonder if the next scan will reveal something new. You never stop wondering.
You never stop thinking.
I am trying though. I am working on not assuming the worst, and I am trying to celebrate each time the doctor says "so far so good." I am working on it. Really.
Mostly though, this past year I've learned that I can move forward even though I don't know how stable the future is. I can enjoy the fact that I have a future. I don't know what it holds, but for that matter, neither does anyone else.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)